Wanted: A Good Mother

I was thinking today about how being a mom is sometimes really hard. It seriously is the HARDEST job on the planet. So that got me wondering what sort of job description there would be for the title Mom. And here goes...

Job Title: Mom

Requirements: Must be able to survive on limited hours of sleep, and be able to sustain this for at least 18 years.

Must not be grossed out by snot, boogers, pee, poop, vomit, chewed up food, slobber, or other various fluids that may be shot out of your child.

Must learn to be very flexible.

Must be able to eat your pre-baby having words, such as, "I will never let my child survive on milk alone. I will never let my child sleep in my bed. I will never spank my child. I will never laugh when disciplining my child. I will never skip more than 2 nights in a row of bath time. I will never hurry up reading books with my child. I will never let my child sleep with more than 2 stuffed animals."

Must be able to look at a mess in it's face and be the first to blink.

Must be willing to repeat yourself over and over and over again.

Must be able to restrain your child while he/she's getting a shot.

Must have the ability to distinguish if your child is teething, tired, hungry, or sick.

Must be able to wake up and do it all again tomorrow.

Recommendations: Have a loving, caring, understanding, willing-to-help spouse.

Compensations: smiles, giggles, laughter, hugs, kisses, snuggles

No previous experience required.